justspeakyourword

...the one thing that was so perfect about B was she or her or just her aura. She was beautiful her spirit was one that I had never experienced before it she was sincere, honest, intelligent, vibrant, and her outlook on life was filled with actually loving the life she was given and embracing those things that meant something to her. Her family was important her career was important to her and her relationships with people was important to her. She was not only a great and loyal friend but she was a great lover. She knew how to be loved and she knew how to love. I remember this instance where I had gone to her house for the weekend just to relax and spend some quality time with her now you must keep in mind that at the same time I still dating J. So in order to make the transition from going from one woman to another I had to completely change my mind and take myself to place where everything I was doing was okay or justified in some way yet it was not. I remember arriving at her door that having her answer with very sexy lingerie on immediately I was amazed. From there she greeted me with the most passionate kiss and asked me how my drive had gone. Now in the back of my mind I'm thinking "my god I've got to marry this girl" at the same time "I was like J has got to go, this is the one right here". She lead me to her room and told me she had a surprise for me. She took off all of my clothes offered me a very nice Egyptian cotton robe and lead me to the bathroom, by now I so amazed and surprised by the catering this woman was giving me and her attention to detail that I simply could not contain myself it was to the point that I was almost uncomfortable because this was so new to me. As I reached the bathroom and B told me close my eyes as she slowly removed the robe and I opened my eyes to see a warm bath drawn filled with rose petals and candles. The first thing that comes to my mind is "I don't deserve this, nor do I deserve this woman" at that moment in my life I learned something about myself that my moral standards where higher than I thought they where. I knew after spending the weekend with her and going to church together the next morning that though she was everything that I wanted and I wasn't ready for what I wanted because the little boy inside me had not yet become a man.